Of John Cleese and Kieran Mctague

This evening, the National University of Singapore hosted an evening with John Cleese – the actor, comedian and (the role I believe him to be most especially proud) writer. He was absorbing, entertaining, wise and of course amusing.

His key message was one that mirrors an aspect of television news which I find producers often overlook: In Cleese’s films, the item that risked offense, generated shock and promoted discomfort was also the item that people found the funniest and most importantly the most memorable.

In television news, particularly in sport, we have no need nor wish to offend, but there are incidental moments of rarity, quirkiness and amusement that we often ignore, prima facie with good reason. I always advise students and junior staff that the secret of good journalism is brevity. Why then should we play up a side show when the main story is already, inevitably and sometimes heartbreakingly truncated due to the pressures of space, time and rights restrictions?

The answer is because that moment will be the first thing, perhaps the single thing, that people will talk and laugh about at the water cooler the very next day.

That item, the one that made you smile or exclaim and sparked you into paying proper attention, may have had no baring on the result, but it’s why we love sport. Sport should be quirky, it should be about much more than the result and as my first mentor in sports journalism (Des Corkhill) once told be, it should be fun.

It’s for this reason that we should strive to show the baseball fan who catches the ball while holding a baby; why we should always show the elderly club chairman having a snooze after his half-time prawn sandwich; and importantly, why we should never take the very serious business of our own show, too seriously.

Most producers see the sense in this some of the time, although occasionally we all struggle to see the moment for what it could potentially be. When a producer sees it with crystal clarity, more than any of us, he has a special talent. That’s Kieran Mctague.

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Monitoring Man United Management

When David Moyes took over at Manchester United, he was ‘the chosen one’. Hand picked as he had been by the incumbent Sir Alex Ferguson, he was in nationality, background and demeanor a mini-me version of his predecessor.

In making their selection, as they had undoubtedly earned the right to do, United laughed in the face of contemporary thinking about managerial recruitment. No aging proven winners for them (think Scolari, Hiddink or Capello), no young guns looking to revolutionise the game (Guardiola, Martinez or Rogers) no academic-looking foreigners (Wenger, Houllier or Magath), nor even former players who already knew the club and had tasted glory it’s glory (Giggs, Robson or Solskjaer).

The obvious choice for some had been biding his time, waiting for Ferguson to retire. Taking every opportunity to ingratiate himself with the fans, owners and particularly with Ferguson, Jose Mourinho waited. Using the press brilliantly to state his case for him, he spoke publically time and again of his boredom at Real Madrid and proved time and again that he was an irresistible winning force. English football fans and media alike, though loathed to admit it, had missed him and were yearning for the Special One’s return.

Various accounts have Mourinho incredulous and in tears when Moyes was appointed at Old Trafford. All that was left was for the Portuguese to become the ‘happy’ one at Stamford Bridge, an appointment made, without mere coincidence after United had publicised their decision.

Moyes had struggled for years to guide Everton to a Premier League season where they would finish above United. In his first season at Old Trafford he finally achieved it. By United’s extraordinary modern-day standards, the 2013/14 season has been an unmitigated disaster. Their only moderate success being to reach the quarter finals of the Champions League, outdoing other British clubs, with the ironic exception of Mourinho’s Chelsea.

United fans are polarised on Moyes’ future. But a vociferous (airborne) section are very clear in their assessment that he should go and as quickly as possible

But if Mourinho was the right answer for United in mid-2013, perhaps Moyes is finally the answer for them in mid-2014.

United have failed to qualify for next season’s Champions League; they have a plethora of aging or mediocre players than need clearing out; and a sizeable number of world class players who need recruiting.

These three problems are interlinked. No Champions League football means there is no big-stage carrot to dangle in front of the world’s best players when they make their way home after the World Cup in Brazil. Furthermore, no Champions League money means that the heavily-leveraged club won’t necessarily have the funds to acquire those players even if they want to come. This all means that fixing the club’s woes could take longer than a year. The worst-case but quite possible scenario, is that United might now spiral into a Liverpool-like 25-year decline.

Having no money and no Champions League isn’t something Mourinho has had to cope with for quite a while. His ability to work with cash and prominence is his strength. The ‘small-club’ problems that United face now is the situation Moyes has excelled in. Keeping the Scot at the helm seems, for the first time in months, to be a sensible call.

Either that or hire Roberto Martinez.

– SD

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Annual Gul Rankings 2013

2103’s Best in Sport

Sport-for-sport, gender-for-gender, pound-for-pound, Steve Dawson ranks 2013’s top 10 players, fighters, runners, jumpers, batters, throwers, riders and drivers, then makes bold predictions about their 2014.

10th Serena Williams (tennis)

Having won two grand slam tournaments in 2013, at 32, Serena will win another couple this coming year, in Melbourne and New York. Don’t be surprised if she misses Roland Garros to prepare for Wimbledon.

9th Rafael Nadal (tennis)

Nadal’s inspiring comeback from injury doesn’t banish any future issues with those troublesome knees. Despite winning at Roland Garros and the US Open, those knees have already done so much to rob the world of the best player ever. He’ll win at Roland Garros in 2014 and get to the final in New York.

8th LeBron James (basketball)

“Not one, not two…” LeBron claimed when predicting how many championships he would win with the Miami Heat. But after winning in 2013, they won’t get three. James will still be the league’s best player in 2014 but will start next season at a new franchise, probably the Los Angeles Lakers and possibly the New York Knicks.

7th Floyd Mayweather (boxing)

The best boxer of his generation will stay on top in 2014. If he doesn’t fight Manny Pacquiao during that time, he never will. If the fight does happen, Mayweather will win. But it will be two years too late for fight fans to unequivocally give ‘Money May’ the credit he longs for. Five years from now, we should be looking back on three Mayweather-Pacquiao super fights, but boxing doesn’t always give the fans what they want.

6th Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce (athletics)

The pocket rocket from Jamaica is a delight to watch and even more delightful to listen to when she talks to the media with that winning smile. She’s also the fastest woman on the planet, having won the world 100m and 200m titles in 2013. 2014 is that one year in four, devoid of an Olympics or World Championships. So, the 27-year old will have to be content with dominating the IAAF Diamond League events, which she will.

5th Mo Farah (athletics)

Like Fraser-Pryce, Farah doubled up at the World Championships in Moscow, but historically, winning the 5,000m and 10,000m has always been a bigger ask than taking both sprint titles. His natural speed and acquired stamina are a lethal combination for opponents to take on. In 2014, Mo will have a quiet year, contemplating a switch to marathons and dabbling in a fascinating challenge for charity against Usain Bolt (see below), probably over 500m.

4th Sebastian Vettel (motor racing)

A big factor in ranking a Formula 1 driver among other sports people is the car. Would another top F1 pilot have achieved four consecutive titles with a chassis designed by Red Bull’s Adrian Newey? The answer, I’m convinced, is that they would have had a pretty good shot. Vettel’s relative achievements, while arguably on a par with other multiple world champions in this list, must therefore be discounted. In 2014, who knows what Newey will put under Vettel’s seat. We’ll only find out in March.

3rd Lionel Messi (football)

The Argentine has been the best at the world’s most popular game for at least four years. As you read this, we are at a pivotal moment in his career. Messi is injured, but more pertinently, he’s being eclipsed by a man who’s been second best for so long (see below). Ironically, just as this apparent decline seems about to set in, 2014 will be his greatest year. With a World Cup held in his own continent, Argentina have the team to win the whole thing, with Messi the star among stars.

2nd Usain Bolt (athletics)

What raises Bolt’s accomplishments above Fraser-Pryce and Farah is his potential to do even more. His freakish, natural gifts mean he can do in the long jump and 400m, something like what he’s done in the 100m and 200m. His desire and work ethic are the main concerns for such lofty heights. 2014 is a quiet year in track and field. It could be the most important of his career. How he uses the downtime will determine his legacy. Sadly, I think he’ll take it easy, then come back in 2015 to do what he’s already done and nothing more.

1st Cristiano Ronaldo (football)

What a wasteful, brash, in-need-of-coaching youngster he was when Manchester United first showcased him on their grand scale. What a prolific, consistent, hard-working tour de force he has become. In 2014 he’ll be 29. It will be another great year, but no better than the great year of 2013. Portugal don’t have the squad to take him to the World Cup glory that his nemesis Lionel Messi can attain. But to the names Pele, Maradona, and Messi we can assuredly now add Ronaldo: The greatest European player of all time, arguably the world’s best ever.

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The Gul Rankings – November 10th 2013

The big decision for this set of rankings was whether Sebastian Vettel’s outstanding triumph of a 4th consecutive Drivers’ Championship in Formula 1 should push him above Usain Bolt or perhaps, even higher. The problem with F1 and Vettel’s situation specifically is the car. Would Alonso, Hamilton or Raikkonen have achieved the same with Adrian Newey behind them for the past 4 years. The answer, I’m convinced, is either that they would have done so or at least come close.

Bolt has also dominated the world for 4 years, but crucially with two main differences: 1. Under his own steam (no Newey-designed legs) 2. At more than one event (100m & 200m).

Below the top three, Cristiano Ronaldo’s breathtaking start to the season sees him rise two spots to 6 and there’s every reason to think that this rise should continue if he continues this kind of dominance. Elsewhere in the footballing world, Luis Suarez deserves a bubbling-under ranking, while Gareth Bale will join him there if his sound start in Madrid continues.

Rafa Nadal’s return to number 1 in the ATP rankings was a great story and an even greater achievement. If LeBron James continues to lead Miami along the lines of their early-season mediocrity, he and Rafa may soon swap places.

Finally, I also feel that Robin van Persie’s place is under threat. Only the lack of inspiration shown by those ranked beneath him in the past month, have helped maintain his place.

1. Lionel Messi (soccer)

2. Usain Bolt (athletics)                                   

3. Sebastian Vettel (motor racing) 

4. Mo Farah (athletics) 

5. Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce (athletics) 

6. Cristiano Ronaldo (soccer) (+2)

7. Floyd Mayweather (boxing) (-1)

8. LeBron James (basketball) (-1)

9. Rafa Nadal (tennis) 

10. Serena Williams (tennis) 

11. Miguel Cabrera (baseball)

12. Novak Djokovic (tennis)

13. Jon Jones (mixed martial arts)

14. Robin van Persie (soccer)

15. Andy Murray (tennis)

16. Hashim Amla (cricket)

17. Anderson Silva (mixed martial arts)

18. Kevin Durant (basketball)

19. Fernando Alonso (motor racing)

20. Manny Pacquiao (boxing)

Bubbling under, in no particular order:

– Lewis Hamilton (motor racing)

– Kimi Raikkonen (motor racing)

– Jessica Ennis-Hill (athletics)

– Roger Federer (tennis)

– Victoria Azarenka (tennis)

– Jimmy Anderson (cricket)

– Tiger Woods (golf)

– Ronda Rousey (mixed martial arts)

– Luis Suarez (soccer)

*A guide to these rankings

a) If your sport’s big, you’ll get the gig

b) If you’re winning, you’re grinning

c) If you rest, it’s a pest

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The Gul Rankings – 28th Sept 2013

September saw Sebastian Vettel inch closer to what could be a remarkable 4th consecutive F1 Drivers’ Championship and he moves into the top 3.

Floyd Mayweather defied those who predicted his demise with another masterful exhibition in Las Vegas and he moves up a place, although that’s largely because of LeBron James’ inactivity. Another impressive defence prior to the track and field season and he’ll likely chip away at 5th and even 4th.

Rafa Nadal and Serena Williams leap into the top 10 after being the standout players at the US Open. Nadal clearly looks like the strongest male player heading into 2014, if those knees hold up.

Detroit Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera wins the AL batting title, while being runner up in HRs and RBIs, pushing him up a place. Jon Jones is the sole new entry, not only because he won a UFC war for all time, but also because I was negligent in not having included him earlier.

Steve

1. Lionel Messi (soccer)

2. Usain Bolt (athletics)                                   

3. Sebastian Vettel (motor racing)  (UP 1)

4. Mo Farah (athletics) (UP 1)

5. Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce (athletics) (UP 1)

6. Floyd Mayweather (boxing) (UP 1)

7. LeBron James (basketball) (-4)

8. Cristiano Ronaldo (soccer)

9. Rafa Nadal (tennis) (UP 6)

10. Serena Williams (tennis) (UP 6)

11. Miguel Cabrera (baseball) (UP 2)

12. Novak Djokovic (tennis) (-3)

13. Jon Jones (mixed martial arts) (NEW ENTRY)

14. Robin van Persie (soccer) (-3)

15. Andy Murray (tennis) (-5)

16. Hashim Amla (cricket) (-4)

17. Anderson Silva (mixed martial arts) (-3)

18. Kevin Durant (basketball) (-1)

19. Fernando Alonso (motor racing)

20. Manny Pacquiao (boxing) (-2)

Bubbling under, in no particular order:

– Lewis Hamilton (motor racing)

– Kimi Raikkonen (motor racing)

– Jessica Ennis-Hill (athletics)

– Roger Federer (tennis)

– Victoria Azarenka (tennis)

– Jimmy Anderson (cricket)

– Tiger Woods (golf)

– Ronda Rousey (mixed martial arts) (RELEGATED)

*A guide to these rankings

a) If your sport’s big, you’ll get the gig

b) If you’re winning, you’re grinning

c) If you rest, it’s a pest

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The Gul Rankings – August 2013

August’s IAAF World Championships saw Usain Bolt become a 100m and 200m World and Olympic Champion for the first time and he moves up 2 spots to 2nd as a result.

Mo Farah did the same over 5,000m and 10,000m – a more grueling feat than Bolt’s but he doesn’t threaten world records and that gives Bolt the edge. He climbs 5 places to 5th.

Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce also doubled up at 100m and 200m but is only the Olympic champ at the shorter distance. She moves up 6 places to 6th.

Further down the list, Rafa Nadal’s fabulous start to the hard-court season sees him jump over Serena Williams and into the top 15. The US Open will undoubtedly shake things up among tennis place in and around the top 20.

The Gul Rankings*

        1. Lionel Messi (soccer)

+2   2. Usain Bolt (athletics)

-1    3. LeBron James (basketball)

-1    4. Sebastian Vettel (motor racing)

+5   5. Mo Farah (athletics)

+6   6. Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce (athletics)

-2    7. Floyd Mayweather (boxing)

-2    8. Cristiano Ronaldo (soccer)

-2    9. Novak Djokovic (tennis)

-2  10. Andy Murray (tennis)

-2   11. Robin van Persie (soccer)

-1    12. Hashim Amla (cricket)

13. Miguel Cabrera (baseball)

14. Anderson Silva (mixed martial arts)

+1   15. Rafa Nadal (tennis)

-1    16. Serena Williams (tennis)

17. Kevin Durant (basketball)

18. Manny Pacquiao (boxing)

19. Fernando Alonso (motor racing)

20. Ronda Rousey (mixed martial arts)

Bubbling under, in no particular order:

– Lewis Hamilton (motor racing)

– Kimi Raikkonen (motor racing)

– Jessica Ennis-Hill (athletics)

– Roger Federer (tennis)

– Victoria Azarenka (tennis)

– Jimmy Anderson (cricket)

– Tiger Woods (golf)

*A guide to these rankings

a) If your sport’s big, you’ll get the gig

b) If you’re winning, you’re grinning

c) If you rest, it’s a pest

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The Gul Rankings*

1. Lionel Messi (soccer)

2. LeBron James (basketball)

3. Sebastian Vettel (motor racing)

4. Usain Bolt (athletics)

5. Floyd Mayweather (boxing)

6. Cristiano Ronaldo (soccer)

7. Novak Djokovic (tennis)

8. Andy Murray (tennis)

9. Robin van Persie (soccer)

10. Mo Farah (athletics)

11. Hashim Amla (cricket)

12. Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce (athletics)

13. Miguel Cabrera (baseball)

14. Anderson Silva (mixed martial arts)

15. Serena Williams (tennis)

16. Rafa Nadal (tennis)

17. Kevin Durant (basketball)

18. Manny Pacquiao (boxing)

19. Fernando Alonso (motor racing)

20. Ronda Rousey (mixed martial arts)

Bubbling under, in no particular order:

– Lewis Hamilton (motor racing)

– Kimi Raikkonen (motor racing)

– Jessica Ennis-Hill (athletics)

– Roger Federer (tennis)

– Victoria Azarenka (tennis)

– Jimmy Anderson (cricket)

– Tiger Woods (golf)

*A guide to these rankings

a) If your sport’s big, you’ll get the gig

b) If you’re winning, you’re grinning

c) If you rest, it’s a pest

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FSC Opinion 27/6/13 – Beautiful Football

There’s some talk about Phil Scolari being a tournament man, thereby casting aside the beautiful football that Brazil traditionally play.

What a lot of nonsense. Who would give up 4 wins out of 4 in a world football tournament? Certainly not England and neither would Brazil.

Roman Abromovic may well hire a manager a month in an effort to play beautiful football. But Chelsea is his toy to play with, in any manner he so wishes. He doesn’t have the responsibility of answering to a football-mad nation like Scolari does; and let’s face it, makes no effort to answer to Chelsea fans.

Thanks to You Tube, we’ll always have the Brazil of 1970 to watch and drool over. Every generation or so, there’ll be another similar experience: Holland in the early 70s, Liverpool in the late 80s, Barcelona of a couple of years ago. But those are rare, which is why they’re special.

Keep going Big Phil. Come and manage England when you’re done.

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Roland Garros Women’s Final Preview

As my colleague Jason de la Pena gave his semi-final tips for the Ladies’ Singles at Roland Garros live on Thursday’s Fox Sports Central, I wasn’t listening intently. After all, I had to give my own tips as soon as he’d finished.

When Jason was done, I began with the words, “Well, I agree with you Jase,” assuming he’d selected Serena Williams to get through her semi final match with Sara Errani. In fact, he hadn’t, which made me look a bit silly but that’s how much of a favourite I had figured she was.

As it turned out, Serena won convincingly 6-0, 6-1 and my confidence that she will go on to win the final has been thoroughly buoyed. Serena took Errani apart, hitting 40 winners to the Italian’s two. The fact that she made 12 unforced errors to Errani’s three shows her positivity. Going for your shots will never be 100 per cent successful, but it demonstrates that the American was going for hers and she’ll take that approach into the final.

Her opponent will be Maria Sharapova who has also been attacking the ball with unbridled ferocity, for better or worse. Even in the opening set of her quarterfinal, which she embarrassingly lost 0-6 to Jelena Jankovic, she hit more winners (five) than her opponent (two) but made considerably more unforced errors (20 compared to four).

The same was true in Sharapova’s semifinal against Victoria Azarenka. In the opening set, when she crushed the Belarusian 6-1, she hit almost three times as many winners as Azarenka while also making slightly more unforced errors. In the second set, which she lost 2-6, the Russian more than tripled Azarenka’s unforced-error count but also edged her in winners. The comparison was even more profound in the third set, which Sharapova won 6-4.

The statistics show that both players attack: they score points and they lose points; rather than waiting for errors to come from the other side of the net. Clearly, in addition to being a very noisy affair on Saturday, it’s likely to be an all-out assault.

We know what type of final it will be then, but it’s those unforced errors that makes Serena the favourite.

In their respective semifinals, Sharapova made 39 compared to Williams’ 12. As a percentage of total points contested, the Russian made unforced errors 18 percent of the time, the American 24 percent.

Even in their first round matches where both players breezed through, Sharapova made 19 unforced errors to Williams’ 14. It was the same story in the second round: Sharapova 28, Williams nine.

Watch for both women to attack from the start in this final, with Sharapova more error prone in the opener, perhaps losing the set by three of four games. She will reign those mistakes in come the next stanza, but by that time Williams will have the bit between her teeth, edging it on a tie break or by a couple of games for her second Roland Garros singles title.

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THE MAGIC by Steve Dawson

It was three in the morning and having fought fires all day I was half way through my drive from the north-west of England, south to Heathrow for an early morning flight. I’d made good time and could afford a quick stop for coffee and a bacon sandwich.

The mid-April air was brisk to say the least and I jogged from my car to the motorway café to counter the chill. I’d been to this stop several times before and jumped into my usual booth at the end of a vast area with no more than a dozen lorry drivers and the odd crazy, all of whom seemed to know the benefits of a good bacon sandwich.

This was always a good place and time to people watch. I would wonder what it must be like to drive trucks, with nobody’s company but your own, punctuated only by the purveyors of fine pork products. They never seemed to look for company these drivers, so I never thought to engage them.

In the booth alongside me was the archetypal trucker. He hadn’t gone the bacon route but instead was gnawing on a sausage baguette with more-than-ample red sauce dripping from the sides. A nervous-looking man with dark hair and a lavish overcoat entered the door at the far end. Having scanned the space, he made an energetic beeline for my neighbor.

“You are Joe?” he said, in a Spanish-sounding accent.

“Yes.”

“They told me to look for the blue ribbon.” He pointed to a ribbon sewn into Joe’s baseball cap.

“Well you’ve found me. How can I help you.”

The foreigner, leaned in from across the table with his hands together, as if praying.

“I am in trouble. It is going well but also it is going badly.”

“You seem confused.”

The foreigner, who looked even more diminutive in his large overcoat than he otherwise might have, searched for the words. Almost in tears he explained: “Some things go very well. But it is not enough. Other things – they go very badly. My friends they like me but I also get hatred. The people, they are so good; my people. But the others, they never stop. I cannot stop them.”

“These others. What do they have against you?”

“It is not easy to say,” said the heavily-coated man, searching the café for the words he needed. “When I do good, the others, they don’t like it. When I do bad, they love it, they love my mistakes. I only try to please everyone. I do my job, I work hard but sometimes it is too much for everyone.”

“You have family?” said the trucker before launching into another mouthful of baguette.

“Yes, yes. They are the most important. But I love everyone. I treat them as my friend. Sometimes, calling them my friend, even using native language and phrases to show my respect for them is not enough. They turn on me. I am hounded. I wish to stay here for my family but I am almost at the end.”

“Could you try leaving for somewhere else? This is not the only place in the world with work.”

“There may be something in Germany. But I don’t know the language. And my children, they are happy here. I don’t want to move them. I love them so much and my wife is so loyal to me, through everything I’ve been through. They said you could help, that you know the magic.”

The trucker shuffled uncomfortably in his seat and wiped some sauce from his chin.

“You need to show more respect for those around you. Perhaps in a different way.”

“Show me how. My language. It is not the best. It doesn’t seem to work. It gets twisted. In my we country touch the head, or kiss the hand of the person we wish to respect. Perhaps I could do this.”

“Well, yes. That’s a start.”

“They say you are worth the money, that you have the knowledge. How should it be done?”

“Yes. Yes. Kiss them.”

“Just kiss them? Like in my country? That will be easy.”

“Well, no. Not on the hand.”

“Then where, tell me? I need your words.”

The trucker, put down his baguette and quickly drained a mouthful of coffee.

“You have the money?”

“Yes, it is all here.” The foreigner opened a zipped pouch and showed him the contents. “10,000 pounds. Is it enough?”

“Yes. That will do. Give it to me,” replied the trucker, his anxiousness to take the money and leave as soon as possible, evident to me but not it seemed to the foreigner.

“When, erm… things are going badly, kiss that person who stands in your way. Kiss them on… the upper arm.”

“The upper arm…”

“Yes,” he said, tapping his tricep, “And do it enthusiastically. As if you really mean it.”

“Ok. Ok. And this will clear my path, yes?”

The trucker got up to leave, his coffee unfinished and his baguette lying dischevelled beside it.

“Your path will be cleared. Don’t you worry about that,” said the trucker, hastily picking up a blue scarf from the seat next to where he’d been sitting.

“Thank you, thank you so much. I am grateful to you. My family is grateful to you. Please, if there is anything I can do for you or you family. Please look for me, I can be found.”

He stood up eagerly offering his hand in gratitude, but the trucker brushed by him, along the aisle towards the exit.

Again the foreigner clasped his hands, this time in gratitude, desperate only for a way to thank the man who would change his fortune.

“My name is Luis. Luis Suarez.”

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